


The One Who Dared To Steal The Shades

by elliptical



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Cute, Fluff, M/M, Shades, Short, Slash, kiss, quick fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-12
Updated: 2012-04-12
Packaged: 2017-11-03 13:20:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/381769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elliptical/pseuds/elliptical
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave hasn't kissed John in three days.  John decides to take Dave's shades hostage until the situation is resolved.  Plotless fluff, established relationship, a quick read.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The One Who Dared To Steal The Shades

**Author's Note:**

> oh hey it's my first work on AO3 (and my first homestuck fanfiction ever in general). hope you enjoy.

**John: Steal Dave’s shades.**

This seems like a fairly bad idea.

**John: Steal Dave’s shades. Do it do it do it.**

Truth be told, he hasn’t kissed you in a while and you are definitely feeling neglected in the mouth (and pants) area. By “a while,” you mean three whole days. Three. Whole. Days. Without Dave Strider’s lips on your lips and his tongue running along your teeth and his hands – well. Obviously this is unacceptable. Maybe you should hold the shades hostage for a while.

You creep very stealthy-like up behind the couch where he is sitting. He doesn’t move, because you have totally mastered the art of walking silently. If you were being logical, you could probably just crawl into his lap, have a snarky conversation, and then make out. But this feels more adventurous.

You reach over, slowly, slowly, and then in one fluid motion WHIP THOSE GLASSES OFF HIS FACE

**Dave: Ninja.**

You leap special-effects-karate-style to your feet and turn around with the full intention of cutting the throat of whoever is behind you. Instant reflexes are a side effect of living with your bro. But it’s just Egbert (John, you remind yourself like a good boyfriend, stop calling him by his last name) grinning like he’s won the fucking lottery and your glasses are the prize. You feel your gaze soften as you look at him, even while the rest of the coolkid mask stays firmly in place like you got a little too much Botox. 

See? This is why you need the shades. Having your eyes naked and vulnerable is like getting pantsed. With anyone else, you would immediately have a sword and be reclaiming what is rightfully yours. The fact that you don’t is clearly a sign of true love.

**Show Dialoglog**

DAVE: dude what are you doing

DAVE: give those back or i will go all karkat on your ass

DAVE: and i dont think you want karkat on your ass

DAVE: or maybe you do

DAVE: maybe you have a fetish for throbbing gray troll cock

DAVE: like oh yes please let me watch black and white porn oh yeah

DAVE: do you get off when you look at elephants

JOHN: okay, that’s just weird.

JOHN: and i’m not giving you them back until you kiss me!

DAVE: what

DAVE: are you serious

DAVE: you seriously couldnt think of a better way to seduce me

DAVE: i severely overestimated your imagination

DAVE: i thought for sure youd try to set me on fire or something

JOHN: oh, come on.

JOHN: i’m holding them hostage.

JOHN: they are my hostages.

JOHN: like in –

DAVE: oh god do not make a movie reference

JOHN: you talk too much.

JOHN: and anyway, if i kiss you while i have your shades hostage, then i get to see your eyes when you kiss me!

JOHN: and i like your eyes.

JOHN: they’re pretty.

DAVE: oh yeah okay lets all gush about daves eyes oh wow theyre so beautiful and red

DAVE: he must be a motherfuckin vampire

DAVE: with sparkles and shit

JOHN: daaaave.

JOHN: i love you, just kiss me.

DAVE: im getting all ready to make a witty retort but now it isnt working

DAVE: dammit stop making me feel things

DAVE: im too cool for emotions

**John: Just leap over the couch and attack the boy’s face already.**

You do.


End file.
